Kaonashi &
by da Panda
Summary: What happens when an average teen couple has to raise Kaonashi in the human world and teach him the normal things of life in order to actually keep him? Everything...Chapter 4 is finally up for the New Year!
1. Kaonashi & Friends

**Kaonashi &…**

**SUMMARY- Fuu and Masashi, girlfriend and boyfriend, notices a large crate in front of their front door in their apartment. They find some twizzlers, pervy stuff, and another crate. What will be inside?**

**Chapter One-**

**Kaonashi & Friends**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Ugh, I'm so tired!" Fuu slumped onto the memory foam mattress on her bed as Masashi was watching a weird dating show.

"Ugh, sappy stories turn it off, sunshine…" Fuu mumbled as she got under the covers.

"Fine…but this time it was about—…"

"FOR CRAP'S SAKE, TURN THE FRICKIN TV OFF!!" Fuu yelled loudly and fell back to sleep a second later. Masashi sighed as he grabbed the silver remote and pressed the power button. He slumped next to Fuu and sighed again.

"You did good, hon…" Masashi said looking at how good Fuu cleaned out his underwear drawer. It was filled with underwear, of course, old video games, birthday gifts supposed to be given years ago to other relatives, fungus, and stuff you wouldn't even think about finding in there.

"Thanks…" Fuu sighed as she leaned on Masashi's chest. Masashi kissed her forehead before he closed his eyes. The nap was interrupted by a knock on their apartment door.

"It must be Kiki and Koko; they said they would be coming over to hang out today." Fuu said a little ticked from the awakening from the knock on the door.

"Let's go shopping…" Masashi said in a girly voice.

"Shut up, Ishi…" Fuu said as she got up and out of bed before heading over to the front door.

Kiki and Koko were Fuu's best friends in all of Tokyo. They were twins, although they were completely opposite. Kiki was shy and kind; she was also a witch in training. She had her black cat, Jiji, who always spoke out and always rode on Kiki's broom with her. Koko was a hyperactive ninja in training. She always wanted to be hyper and extremely happy, and she annoyed Kiki and Jiji very much.

Fuu unlocked and opened the door, disappointed that is wasn't Kiki or Koko or Jiji, only a FedEx man.

"I have a delivery for Fuu and Masashi…" FedEx boy said.

"That's us…" Fuu sighed, thinking _Kiki runs her own delivery service and always delivers stuff to us. How come she didn't deliver this time?_

Then that's when Fuu discovered why Kiki didn't deliver it. There was a huge crate, bigger than the FedEx man, which was in front of Fuu's face.

"IT'S HUGE…! WHAT THE CRAP IS IN THERE?!" Fuu shouted loudly that other people in the apartment stared down the hallway at her.

"I don't know, I only deliver the packages, not take a peek inside of it."

"Ishi-kun, come here, come here!"

"I told you not to call me that!" Masashi complained as he got out of his bed and saw the crate.

"IT'S HUGE…! WHAT THE CRAP IS IN THERE?!" Masashi also shouted loudly.

"I said I don't know!" The FedEx man said irritated.

"There's probably a missile in there to blow up the earth!" Fuu screamed and hid in a cabinet.

"Sign here, please." The FedEx man handed a paper to Masashi. He signed his name and handed it back to the man. The man left and closed the door thinking _what's with those people?_

"Look, you can't just hide in a cabinet, and we can't just leave this box here." Masashi said at Fuu, still hiding in the kitchen cabinet.

"But…I'm scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaared." Fuu said with teary eyes. Masashi rolled his eyes. He used his strong, muscular muscles to open the lid of the crate.

"Twizzlers here…" Masashi put two bags of the licorice in front of the cabinet. The cabinet door slightly opened and a nose popped out, sniffing the two bags carefully to check if there were no signs of poison, stuff to make you have indigestion, drugs, or sewage. After checking that the coast was clear with one of her five senses, Fuu grabbed the bags and took them in the cabinet.

"That didn't work…" Masashi sighed and rolled his eyes again. He then found more small boxes. He opened a pink one with white polka-dots on it. Inside were very skimpy under garments. He tossed them in the garbage immediately before his girlfriend saw and would smack him mercilessly with a paper fan with poisonous thorns super-glued on each side. There were very random things from Japanese toys such as "Walkie Bits", "Choke Friends", and famous Japanese stuffed animals from the minds of San-X. There was also food like bananas, tomatoes (Fuu also grabbed all of them since she loved tomatoes), watermelon (Fuu did the same thing like she did with the tomatoes), and strawberry pocky! Then, after loads of bubble wrap that entertained Fuu, there was a crate with the words FRAGILE on them.

"Fra-gee-lay…must be Italian!" Fuu read the words FRAGILE, pronouncing it completely wrong.

"Um, that word is FRAGILE. And who calls you a "Spelling Bee Contestant"?" Masashi laughed.

"Hey, you didn't make it into the bee!"

"Whatever, like I care much." Masashi removed another sheet of bubble wrap before pulling out the other crate. Man, was it heavy. Fuu backed away after shoving a huge tomato in her mouth and clenching on the left hand of a yellow Choke Friend.

"What's in there…?" Fuu said with a nervous shiver in her throat.

"I'm not sure, but it is really heavy."

"I'm scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaared again!"

"Shut up, Fuu!"

Then, after his yell, the crate moved. Fuu squealed and hid in the cabinet, along with her goodies, and Masashi took a step back. It moved more ferociously this time, making Masashi trip on a blue Choke Friend. He grabbed it and held it tightly. Then, the lid of the crate opened…and out popped something that would never be imagined to be inside of a crate…a spirit.

"What…is that thing?" Fuu stepped out of the kitchen cabinet to get a closer look at the spirit. The spirit was black with a white mask that was smiling. Its arms were hidden as well as its legs and it had unruly brunette hair in the back. He turned to look at Fuu, who whimpered at the sight of a spirit looking right at her. He bowed, surprisingly, at the hyperactive tomato/watermelon loving girl. She did nothing but bow back to the spirit, but banged her head against a frying pan. She bent down in pain. Then, the spirit faced towards Masashi. The spirit bowed to him, Masashi stood up, dropping the Choke Friend onto the sofa, and bowed back.

"At least he has manners." Fuu said, still in slight pain.

"He's a spirit…that's really unusual for a spirit to be hiding in a wooden crate." Masashi said stepping closer to the spirit. Then, there was a knock on the door. Fuu decided to check it out. She opened the front door to find a girl with long blonde hair and a pink tank top, with a matching skirt and pair of matching flip flops. She didn't look very pleasant.

"Hello, is this where Fuu and Masashi live?" The blonde asked. Fuu nodded kind of scared by the glare on the girl's face.

"I need that spirit. My name is Himiko Kimuchi. I work at the Tokyo Shrine. A spirit was accidentally sent to your residence. We need him returned at once."

"But…I think he's cool!" Fuu said. Masashi gave her a "WHAT…!" look and Fuu turned to Himiko.

"You don't understand. Having a spirit like Kaonashi in your apartment is a serious matter. He is untrained and does not know anything about the human world at all, whatsoever."

"So, we'll have to teach him about being human!" Fuu said angrily. Masashi stood up and marched over to the door where Fuu and Himiko were arguing.

"She had too much caffeine today!" He began. "So sorry if she's causing any trouble."

"I ain't causing no trouble, dude!"

"Fuu, be polite to the young Shrine Master!" Masashi whispered through angry clenched teeth.

"Actually, I like her style, Masashi-kun." Himiko said with a smile on her face. Fuu and Masashi looked somewhat confused.

"If you think handling a spirit like Kaonashi is a piece of cake, let it be. I'll give you a whole year to teach him the common things about human beings in Tokyo, Japan. On this day in 2008, he'll take a little ten-question written test. If he passes, you may keep him as your own pet. If he fails, however, he will be sent to the spirit world where he really belongs. Are we clear of this? Any objections?"

"Well you see here, ma'am-…" Masashi began.

"Nope, no objections! Me and Ishi-Kun are gonna work like school teachers!" Fuu interrupted.

"Very well then, I expect intelligence in one year's time starting now." Himiko slammed the door shut.

"I hate you…" Masashi said angrily. But Fuu ignored him and went over towards her pet spirit.

"Hello, Kaonashi! My name is Fuu!" Fuu bowed again. Kaonashi bowed again, until another knock was heard. Himiko was back.

"By the way, I'll give you this for some translation. He doesn't talk. But with this pendant and its translating powers, you can hear him speak your language. See you." She slammed the door again. Masashi grabbed the pendant out of the butterfingers of Fuu and put it over Kaonashi's neck. The pendant slowly absorbed into Kaonashi and disappeared completely.

"Fuu…Masashi…I hope I won't cause you any trouble…friends…" Kaonashi spoke slowly but clearly.

"Yay, now we can hear him!" Fuu danced around Kaonashi happily. Then, another knock on the door was heard. Masashi groaned and opened it. Finding Kiki, Koko, and Jiji the black cat

"Hola…" Masashi said.

"Hola, senor…!" Koko said.

"Spanish is confusing!" Fuu said.

"Whoa, what's with the living and breathing shadow with the festive mask?" Koko got in a weird Charlie's Angels position at the sight of Kaonashi.

"This is our new pet, Kaonashi!" Fuu said introducing her new friend.

"Kaonashi…?" Kiki asked.

"One, he's not our pet, Fuu…and two," Masashi began to tell the "coincidence" to Kiki and Koko and Jiji. After two minutes of explanation, everyone had a confused look on their faces.

"Jiji, did you get any of that?" Kiki whispered to her cat.

"Not a single consonant…." Jiji sighed.

"So, you mean, he's supposed to learn about humans?" Koko asked.

"Yes, I am, but I don't know a single thing." Kaonashi said.

"That's why we are gonna teach him the knowledge of life!" Fuu winked.

"And, how exactly are we going to do that?" Masashi asked.

"What's with the temper, mister meanie?" Fuu asked.

"It's not every day a wooden crate comes in our apartment that has a spirit inside of it. I'm sorry, Fuu-chan, but I was going to object to keeping Kaonashi."

"But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?" Fuu asked upset.

"I don't feel very comfortable with a spirit living inside our home."

"It's just a year!"

"A year…think about it, 365 days with this…this…thing!" Masashi pointed at Kaonashi eating a napkin, then spitting it back out. Fuu stared at the wet napkin in disgust before turning back at her boyfriend.

"Well excuse me, grumpy man, I like Kaonashi! Is there something wrong with Kaonashi?"

"Yes, he's a frickin _spirit!"_

"Like I give a damn!"

"Please, please, please stop fighting! Things are going to be worse if you don't stop arguing with each other!" Kiki said, breaking up the battle between dog and cat.

"Don't put the pedal to the metal cuz you won't have a brake on the bike!" Koko, attempted, to support her sister. Everyone, even Kaonashi, stared at Koko like _what the crap does that mean?_ Koko just grabbed a chair and slouched in it.

"Look, if you want to make things a lot better, start teaching the guy!" Jiji said.

"Maybe you're right…if Kaonashi is more educated I'll feel a lot better." Masashi said. Fuu turned at Kaonashi.

"Do you promise to cooperate with us?"

"Hai…"

"And follow our directions…?"

"Hai…"

"And not argue with Ishi-Kun that often unless it is for necessary reasons…?"

"WAIT A SECOND, WHAT DO YOU MEAN **NECESSARY REASONS**?" Masashi barged in the vows.

"Like if you took the last slice of pizza when Kaonashi was about to take it…" Fuu set her example. Masashi sweatdropped but sat down, sighing.

"Hai…" Kaonashi said.

"I think he'll cooperate with us just fine!" Fuu said smiling.

"Friends…I hope you'll teach me well…" Kaonashi said walking over to sit down on the beautiful porch outside, but he ran into the sliding glass door. He fell over, flat on his back.

"………ow……."

"He's okay…what else could go wrong for him?" Koko said. After what she said, everyone heard a large CRACK and Kaonashi was gone…except for a big hole in the deck.

"Um…Masashi will pay for that…" Fuu said nervously. Masashi glared at her.

-+-+-+-+-+-+

"Thank you so much for the bandages, Kiki-chan." Kaonashi said as he lied down on a sofa, covered in bandages.

"It's my job running a delivery service!" Kiki said as she set her broom down near the closet.

"Hey, Kaonashi, Koko, Kiki, and Jiji are sleeping over our house for a couple of weeks. Is that okay with you?" Fuu asked the bandaged spirit.

"Hai…"

"Good."

"Hey, CSI is on. Want to watch it?" Masashi looked at the clock on the stove. Everyone's faces lit up and immediately Koko grabbed the remote and pressed power. The flat screen TV turned on and the theme song was playing. Kaonashi, however, had no clue what was going on.

"What on earth is that?" He asked.

"Shh!" Fuu shushed him and continued watching.

"But, Fuu, what is that?"

"Shh!" Fuu said again, and then faced the screen as a flashback of a woman being strangled was shown. Kaonashi screamed in horror and flipped the sofa over. Everyone turned to him for a second, and then continued to watch TV.

-+-+-+-+

After an hour, the show was over, and everyone finally remembered about Kaonashi and the fallen couch. They put the sofa back in its place and picked up the unconscious Kaonashi. Everyone then decided it was time for bed before anything else more chaotic happens and they'll wake up the people all around them.

"Masashi, you get to sleep on the sofa!" Fuu-chan said. Then, everyone "Shh!"-Ed her.

"Sorry…" Fuu whispered.

"Fine, but where's he gonna sleep?" Masashi pointed at Kaonashi, still unconscious.

"I'll let him sleep on the futon in my room."

"But, Fuu, he's not a girl. He could be a pervert since all the girls are sleeping in there." Masashi said.

"Jiji's a boy and he's sleeping with us ladies!" Fuu said slightly louder. Everyone shushed her again.

"Sorry…"

"Fine, but I'm just warning you guys…" Masashi said lying on the sofa and getting a warm blanket from behind it.

"G'night, Ishi-Kun!" Fuu-chan said as she closed her bedroom door.

Fuu climbed into her cushiony bed as Kiki and Koko got their sleeping bags situated. Kaonashi rested on the quite comfy futon and was already fast asleep cuz he was barely alive from the sofa incident. Fuu fell asleep quickly along with her colorful gang of Choke Friends.

………………

Masashi snuggled with his own, blue Choke Friend but could not fall asleep. He was worried what might happen with teaching Kaonashi different things about the human world. Going outside in public will be very difficult because everyone will stare and stare and stare until their eyes disintegrate completely. He would also think about what his other friends would think. Now, they would think he and his girlfriend were total freaks, not saying that Fuu isn't a freak already. Masashi just thought and thought and thought until his brain exploded with nerves.

………………………..

**To be continued in chapter two…**

……………………………………

**Here are some things in this chapter of the story you might not have understood that well, but now you will!**

**-**_**The title of the story "Kaonashi &"**_**- If you've ever read the manga called "Yotsuba &", this is almost similar. Each chapter in "Yotsuba &" starts with the title then has a word like "Yotsuba & pools", this story does the same, but it is not the same synopsis.**

**-**_**Fuu and Masashi**_**- Fuu is my character and Masashi is a character I made up. No, I don't have a boyfriend. But Masashi is more moody in this story just to add the moody-ness to it. But in real life, he's just like me!**

**-**_**Kiki and Jiji**_**- If you didn't recognize it before, Kiki and Jiji are the stars in Ghibli's movie "Kiki's Delivery Service". It's about a 13 year old witch named Kiki, and her black cat named Jiji, training in a different city to become a full-fledged witch. How does she train? By doing her own delivery service! The characters are the same in the story and in the Ghibli film.**

**-**_**Walkie Bits and Choke Friends- **_**These are quite famous Japanese toys. Walkie Bits are little walking turtles that walk, run, and sing. Choke Friends are stuffed animals that are squishy and love not breathing.**

**-****_FRAGILE joke_- ****This joke is in the Christmas movie "A Christmas Story", where the father is about to get his "prize".**

_**A note from the author:**_

_**Dear Reader,**_

_**I must inform you of some things BEFORE you review.**_

_**I DO NOT ACCEPT FLAMES. Like I always say at the end of stories, u-uh, no way, no one wants to be hurt by anyone for something they worked hard with. If you flame and didn't type any stories, writing stories is A LOT harder than you think, so give people a chance to do better next time by keeping mean things to yourself. So, not this time flamers, not this time.**_

_**Also, I might not update all of the time because I have many other stories to write too, if you didn't see my profile, and I work very hard on trying to complete chapters of each story. But, it will take a while to do so. So, don't get mad at me if it takes weeks, even months, for just one update. I'm not saying it'll be continuous, but it will take a while for good long chappies. **_

_**Thanks for reading chapter one of Kaonashi & and I hope you'll enjoy chapter two, as well! Please leave a GOOD review!**_

_**-da Panda (Author)**_


	2. Kaonashi & Mornings

**Kaonashi &**

**Summary (chapter two) – After Kaonashi is used to the apartment of Fuu and Masashi, Kaonashi discovers mornings are just more than French toast and a glass of milk or orange juice to start out the day. Breakfast to Kaonashi means trouble.**

_Fuu- Ishi-kun, you're so mean to Kaonashi! You act like he's an arachnid!_

_Masashi- And…you're just weird…_

_Fuu- So are you!_

_Masashi- No, you ARE!!_

_-Two fight like rabid monkeys-_

_Kaonashi- …um…wow…_

_Koko- Fuu and Masashi, AKA "Ishi-kun", were about to say this:_

_**Disclaimer: Fuu does not own Kaonashi and Kiki and Jiji, she does own Koko, Masashi, and herself…of course…**_

_**Also, she doesn't like flames for ANY, ANY of her fics for please pin this message into your cranium so you can remember for eternity, even if you're stuck in a condominium watching Wheel of Fortune while your husband/wife is either making cinnamon rolls or asleep…okay…that was weird…**_

_Jiji- Don't trust her with these kind of things, readers…_

_Kaonashi- The next chappy will be about the mall…is the mall bad or good, Fuu?_

_Fuu- ISHI-KUN, LEARN SOME RESPECT FOR OUR LITTLE SPIRIT PET!!_

_Kaonashi- Um…never mind…let's begin the chapter now…_

**Chapter Two-**

**Kaonashi & Mornings**

The next morning, Kaonashi woke up by the sun attacking his eyes. He stood up and looked around him. Oh, yeah, Fuu and Masashi live here.

He then felt a strange feeling in a very unusual spot, something quite painful that made his legs wobble. He tried to hold it in, but it came back, then he started to look like he was doing a dance…a dance that looked like a drunken guy performed on stage for a ballet. Koko woke up from the frightened and confused squeals of Kaonashi.

"What the heck are you doing?"

"I'm gonna die…I think…"

"Huh?"

"I'm feeling tingly in this spot…" Kaonashi pointed at the country where rainbows never appear (AKA, you're…yeah…urine outlet…)

"Oh…my…God…Masashi is a "pro" at that, ask him…" Koko had a frightened look on her face and pushed Kaonashi outside and closed the door shut, and locked it, before barely walking to her sleeping bag.

……………..

Masashi was eating "Frosted Flakes" while watching a comedy movie. Kaonashi wobbled over towards Masashi.

"Masashi, I have a problem…"

"What, did you spy on Fuu and the other girls change clothes and got beat up mercilessly?"

"Um, no, but…I have a tingly feeling in a certain area…what's the matter with it? It feels like I'm gonna blow up into smithereens…"

"Dude, you got to pee…" Masashi sighed as he turned off the TV.

"Pee…?"

"Yeah, it's when…waste…" Masashi struggled to say words he was uncomfortable saying. "Leaves your body…like…poop…and…pee…"

"Huh?"

"Just go over to the toilet…"

"Toilet, what's a toilet?"

"Just follow me…" Masashi lead Kaonashi to the bathroom.

---+++---+++---23 Minutes Later+++---+++---+++

Fuu decided to wake up and start the day off by teaching Kaonashi certain things about being human. Then, a loud shout was heard from the bathroom, and it sounded a lot like Masashi!

"NO, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PUT THE SOAP ON YOUR HANDS!"

"What the heck--?" Fuu asked herself. She knocked on the door a little bit before Masashi and Kaonashi came out, barely alive.

"What happened to you guys?" Fuu asked.

"I was gonna die…" Kaonashi said. Fuu raised an eyebrow and stared at Masashi with a _what-the-heck-did-you-do-to-him-you-idiotic-medieval-torturing-frisbee-throwing-lobster-shell-nibbling-son-of-a-rubber band _look.

"I swear; I didn't do anything to him!" Masashi said reading Fuu's devastating message through her glare

"Does she always get that frightening when she is angry?" Kaonashi asked Masashi nervously.

"You better get used to it." Masashi replied. Fuu chilled out after the long stare at Masashi and went over to the kitchen.

"Kiki and Jiji are still asleep, Koko, she's just jamming out on her blue ipod nano with some Avril Lavigne songs with a blindfold on." Fuu said grabbing an orange and cutting it in half with the nearest knife.

"In other words, she'll be in the hospital in two seconds?" Masashi asked. After a good two seconds, Koko came out of Fuu's room.

"Call 911…" Koko fainted.

"In other words, she stubbed her toe…" Masashi stated.

"That's right…"

----

After everyone finally woke up, Fuu and Masashi treated their guests to a large breakfast buffet. They set out their largest table with sorts of food including French toast, waffles, pancakes, strawberries, bananas, cereal, bacon, scrambled eggs, and more fruit.

Fuu put on some Jpop, it happened to be Masashi's least favorite, ALI PROJECT with Ankoku Tengoku, which means Dark Heaven. Fuu started to dance while barely choking on a banana. After the refrain, Masashi stomped over to the CD player and played the second CD inserted inside the machine, which happened to be some American rock band no one's ever heard of except Masashi. Fuu groaned while they decided to de neither after halfway through the song and played some Jrock. Kaonashi stared at the CD player in awe before taking a bite out of a stack of crispy waffles.

"Fuu, what **is **that?" Kaonashi pointed at the CD player, playing a song with some rocking Japanese girl. Fuu gulped scrambled eggs with ketchup splattered all over them and looked up.

"Oh, that's a CD player…" Fuu said and continued eating.

"But, what does it do?" Kaonashi kept on asking. Fuu rolled her eyes and lead Kaonashi over to the CD player.

"These discs here are called CDs. They have songs on them and you put them in here," Fuu put a random CD in the fourth empty disc holder. It closed in while Kaonashi stared in amazement.

"Who did that?" Kaonashi asked.

"It…did it automatically, Kaonashi…" Fuu stared at Kaonashi as if he were insane.

"Oh…" Kaonashi kept staring at the CD player, not even hearing Fuu's annoyed sigh. Fuu noticed the volume for disc 4 was not up all the way, so she turned the dial and Katharine McPhee was playing. Kaonashi stared in amazement.

"This…is…beautiful!" Kaonashi stared at the small screen on the machine as it said the track number and the song, "Love Story".

"Yeah…sure it is…" Fuu sweatdropped…

"So, what are we gonna do today?" Kiki asked after drinking some milk.

"Well, I think it'll be good to show Kaonashi around Tokyo." Masashi said looking over at Kaonashi staring at the CD player. Masashi kept on looking at Kaonashi examine the machine. Kaonashi accidentally hit disc 2, where Ankoku Tengoku belonged, and it played. Kaonashi tapped his feet, following the beat. He then saw the dial where Fuu made it louder. Unfortunately, he turned up the volume a little too much than usual…

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH, TOO LOUD, TOO LOUD, TOO LOUD, TOO LOUD…!" Masashi screamed in horror. Koko grabbed a small shuriken and threw it to turn down the volume, but it went out the sliding glass door.

"I'll get it!" Kaonashi screamed over the ALI PROJECT song. Unfortunately, he forgets the sliding glass door was not for going through without opening it, so he ran into it and collapsed.

"Kaonashi down!" Fuu said as she ran over herself to turn down the volume. Everyone stared at the CD player and Kaonashi. Fuu lightly slapped the CD player.

"Bad CD player…!" Fuu said.

"Actually, Kaonashi turned up the volume, it was his fault." Masashi said.

"I…think…he should be more careful with doing things on his own, don't you think so?" Jiji said. Kaonashi heard this after recovering from running into the sliding glass door accidentally. He got up and rubbed his forehead as he went into Fuu's bedroom.

"Kaonashi looks upset…I think we hurt his feelings…" Kiki said.

"I'll check on him…" Fuu said as she fixed her orange pajama top. She lightly knocked on the door.

"Don't worry, Kaonashi, it's only me…" Fuu said.

"You can come in…no one else can." Kaonashi said softly. Fuu opened the door to find Kaonashi holding Fuu's San-X apple plush, which was small and soft and cuddly. Fuu sat next to Kaonashi on her pink bed.

"What's wrong?"

_I…think…he should be more careful with doing things on his own, don't you think so?_

_Actually, Kaonashi turned up the volume, it was his fault!_

"I'm a burden here…"

"You're not a burden, Kaonashi…"

"Yes, I am, I flip the couch over last night, I can't…pee…and I have to run into invisible things…"

"Kaonashi…you don't really understand the human world that much! Just wait and see in 364 days, you'll be a pro!" Fuu said happily standing up. Kaonashi smiled through his mask.

"Thanks, Fuu…can I keep this?" Kaonashi said.

"Uh, no…that was my sister's…she's not here anymore…if you understand what I'm saying, buddy…" Fuu stared out the window and watched the sun rise. Kaonashi stared at her.

"I'm so sorry, Fuu…" Kaonashi said. Another knock on the door was heard.

"Kaonashi, it's only Kiki!" Kiki said from behind the bedroom door.

"She can come in as well…" Kaonashi said holding back tears as Fuu still stared at the sun rising. Kiki opened the door and sighed.

"Not again…" She mumbled.

"What's wrong, Kiki?" Kaonashi asked.

"She thinks her sister is dead even though she's living with her own boyfriend in Osaka…" Kiki said.

"What…?" Kaonashi gave a "Are you kidding me" stare at Fuu, who continued to stare at the rising sun through her window.

"She doesn't even know it, so don't even try…" Kiki sighed.

"Oh…okay, then…" Kaonashi said in a very strange way, confused.

"Kaonashi…don't mind Jiji and Masashi, they are always like that…and Koko can get like that, too. Everyone apologized outside; they want to apologize in person, though." Kiki said. Kaonashi looked at Kiki unsure.

"I dunno…if I should go outside, though…"

"How come?"

"That invisible wall…" Kaonashi said nervously.

"That's the sliding glass door, Kaonashi…" Kiki said slightly smiling. Fuu stopped daydreaming and suddenly went outside.

"Let's finish eating, and then we can go shopping today!!"

"Shopping…?" Kaonashi asked.

"You'll find out on my broomstick!" Kiki winked and went in the bathroom to get dressed. Kaonashi shrugged and went outside to finish eating his early meal. He glared at the silver CD player playing the song "Anemone" by "Nakahara Mai". Kaonashi gave the "I'm watching you" to the CD player before getting a bowl of fresh strawberries.

_TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER THREE!!!_

_Ankoku Tengoku- _Most of you might not recognize the song "Ankoku Tengoku" by ALI PROJECT. This is the opening theme song for the magical girl anime "Kamichama Karin", and I've also decided 'why not make this the same theme song for Kaonashi&?'

Cuz it is so catchy! LOL

_San-X apple- _I actually DO have a stuffed animal like this, which I got it at Disney World in the Japanese Epcot store.

_Fuu's Sister Scene-_ If you DO read Yotsuba& and read the second volume, you'll see the scene is quite familiar to the scene where Asagi thinks her father is not around anymore, while Fuka exclaims that he is only at work.

_Anemone- _This is the ending theme song to Kamichama Karin, by Nakahara Mai, the Japanese voice actress of Karin in the anime.

_Kaonashi- Um…guys…I'm serious…what the heck is shopping?_

_Masashi- Damn you, Fuu!!_

_Fuu- Right back atchya, buster!!_

_Kaonashi- Um…good…bye…?_


	3. Kaonashi & Malls

Kaonashi & (Chapter Three summary)- The group of friends go to the mall where they discover more chaos from Kaonashi-kun, including amusement of stoplights and Kaonashi's new best friend! Who or WHAT will it be?

_Kaonashi- Finally, the fighting ended…-sigh of relief-_

_Fuu- Oh, no, Kaonashi, it's only the beginning! –Plays Ankoku Tengoku loudly in Masashi's ears-_

_Masashi- Fuu, you little—_

_Fuu- Mitch, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in my Kamichama Karin fic, "Know your stars: Kamichama Karin style!"!!_

_Mitch- Fine, I'll leave…_

_Kaonashi- Go ahead, Jiji…_

_Jiji- Okay…_

_**Disclaimer- Fuu does NOT own some of the characters in this fic such as Kaonashi, Kiki, and myself….**_

_**Fuu doesn't like flames also, so don't EVER, EVER flame a fic done by her!**_

_Kaonashi- Also…_

_**This is a Response to RCS, Inc 'NoFace' challenge**_

_We wanna feel special! -.-_

_Jiji- Okay, let's begin this fic before things get nasty…_

**Chapter Three-**

**Kaonashi & Malls**

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Breakfast was finally complete and everyone was dressed. Fuu was in a white tank top with gray stripes. She also wore jeans and carried a purse in the shape of a snow bunny. Masashi wore a black T-shirt that sad 'Go Mad' on the back and he wore tan shorts. Kiki wore her regular black dress and her red ribbon neatly placed on her head while Koko wore a black tank top, and short blue jean shorts. Everyone left out the door and went down to the elevator.

"What is that?" Kaonashi asked nervously. He stared it down as if it were his prey.

"This is called an elevator. You can go to different floors in the building with this." Masashi said calmly. The elevator door opened and inside was an older woman with an ugly yellow outfit and a pink, creamy flowery hat. She looked afraid when Kaonashi stepped inside and was right beside her.

"Floor one." Fuu pressed 1 and the doors shut. Kaonashi then started to panic.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Kiki asked. Kaonashi slammed his head against the walls of the elevator. The elevator stopped at level 3 and the lady sprinted off of it in fear. She tripped before the elevator doors closed again.

"This feels like my weight is surfacing to death…" Kaonashi responded after smacking his head against the doors of the elevator. Everyone blinked in confusion.

"Um…" Was all Fuu had to say…

When they reached the first floor, Kaonashi stumbled out of the elevator and kissed the ground. People constantly stared at him in weirdness.

"Let's just hurry up before Kaonashi shoots someone…" Masashi grumbled while he passed Kaonashi, still kissing the "beloved" ground of the first floor, as he left the building onto the sidewalk outside. Fuu blinked while everyone else exited the elevator and went outside. After a minute, Kaonashi caught up to them. Kaonashi's first discovery of the large city of Tokyo was the stoplight.

"They flash different colors…" He whispered to himself. The stoplight turned from green to yellow in one second.

"YELLOW!" Kaonashi gleefully shouted. Kiki turned to him.

"Y-yeah…" Kiki responded. Then, it turned back to green.

"GREEN!"

"Uh-huh…"

"RED!"

"Time to cross…the mall's just around the corner!" Koko exclaimed while everyone crossed the street. But, for Kaonashi, he still stared in amusement at the stoplight. It was still red. Then, after a few seconds, it turned to green. Cars passed by and the group of friends didn't notice Kaonashi was left behind in front of the apartment building.

"YELLOW!" Kaonashi shouted happily. He began laughing in joy when the stoplight turned yellow. A mother and her twin babies in her baby carriage went next to Kaonashi. The twins were both boys and they looked about two years old.

"Come on, Tim, Tom, you have to speak to mommy!" The mother said. The twins did nothing but drool and stare blankly. The stoplight turned green again.

"GREEN! GREEN! YES!" Kaonashi kept shouting gleefully.

"Green!" Said one of the babies. The mother looked excitedly down at the baby.

"RED!" Kaonashi exclaimed loudly again.

"Red!" Said the other twin. The mother looked as if she was about to faint or cry in excitement.

"YES! THEIR FIRST WORDS! GREEN AND RED! GREEN AND RED! GREEN AND RED! THANK YOU SO MUCH, SIR! I WAS AFRAID THEY WOULD NEVER SPEAK AT ALL!" The mother said glomping Kaonashi. Kaonashi blinked slightly.

"Um…what did I do again?"

"Here, this is a token of thanks. It will expire tomorrow, so spend it well!" The young mother held out a 50 off gift certificate to JIMMYZ! (This is one of my favorite stores, good clothes, and good sales!)

"My oldest daughter totally forgot it was in my wallet, so, you can have it now. Thanks again!" The mother quickly crossed the street before the light turned green again. Cars quickly went by. Kaonashi blinked while looking at the card.

"Huh?"

"KAONASHI! WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING OVER THERE?" Fuu shouted from the other side of the street. The group finally discovered their friend was missing!

"Forgive me! Um…I'm confused! When do I cross?" Kaonashi called over. Unfortunately, his voice was blocked out by an angry, somewhat homosexual guy, was honking his horn at the slow old man driving his tiny car in front of him.

"WHAT?" Koko called over.

"I SAID I AM CONFUSED! WHEN DO I CROSS THE STREET?"

"OH! WHEN THE LIGHT TURNS RED, THEN YOU CROSS!" Masashi called over.

"OKAY!" Kaonashi replied loudly. People sitting on random benches behind him were getting annoyed by his shouts and walked away. The light turned red. "This'll be a cinch!" Kaonashi thought. He took a step on the street…but felt afraid and returned his foot to the sidewalk.

"What's wrong?" Fuu called out.

"I don't know; I'm kind of scared!"

"Don't be scared! You can do it if you put your mind to it!" Fuu responded. Masashi glanced over.

"He's crossing a street, it's not that hard!"

"It's his first time!" Fuu scowled at her boyfriend.

Kaonashi gulped nervously as he took two steps on the road…the light turned green.

"Oh no!" Kiki shrieked. Fortunately, the old man's vehicle was driving 10 miles per hour and spared Kaonashi's life. Kaonashi screamed like a little girl and dashed over to his friends, panting when he landed on the ground.

"That…was so scary…I thought it was the end of the world!" Kaonashi said catching his fragile breath. Masashi spotted the item Kaonashi had in his hands.

"Hey, a gift card to JIMMYZ! Our lucky day!" Masashi happily exclaimed.

"Score!" Fuu said excitedly.

"Um, Kaonashi, let's hold hands before another bad incident happens, k?" Koko said sweatdropping.

"Oh…OK…" Kaonashi said as he took Koko's hand and they marched to the mall.

-------

The doors automatically opened as the gang landed into the food court. It wasn't extremely crowded, but the food court had people bustling in and out of stores seen up ahead of the food court. Kaonashi stared in awe at how large the mall was.

"So this is a mall? A gathering of humans?"

"I suppose…it has tons of different shops in one big building…" Kiki said.

"That's a cool idea! Who thought of it???"

"Um…don't ask me, Kaonashi-kun…" Kiki sweatdropped.

"We'll get food later since we just ate breakfast earlier, so we'll start shopping till we're dropping! Boom cha, cha!" Fuu said as she ran out of the food court to her first favorite store.

"Careful, she'll probably hand you all her shopping bags to carry…" Koko whispered to Kaonashi.

"Trust me…I know the pain…" Said Masashi. Kaonashi blinked as the group chased after the crazy teen girl.

After a couple of minutes, the group finally spotted her in American Eagle Outfitters, gawking in awe at an orange tank top displayed at the front table.

"CUTENESS RIGHT HERE! I'M GETTING IT!" Fuu hugged the tank top while she sprinted to the back where all the cheaper items were; she knew Masashi would go on a murderous rampage once he looked at the total price of the things Fuu-chan bought.

"This store is awesome, might as well get some crap here, too." Masashi said as he walked on the men's side of the clothing store. Kaonashi wandered in the store after and stared at a bottle of clear liquid.

Autumn Peach 

"Peaches are yummy…" Kaonashi thought as he drooled while grabbing the bottle. He was delighted when he heard the jingling of the eagle charm hanging off of the cap of the liquid container, ringing in his ears. He took off the cap…and squirted the liquid into his mouth. His tongue swelled up in distaste, strong and tasting like a house cleaner…but worse. He screamed in disgust and threw the bottle. Koko used her ninja agility to catch it in the nick of time. Kaonashi tripped over a table with T-shirts displayed, causing a racket. Fuu and Masashi looked over from the register and their jaws dropped. Kaonashi raised a hand in the air.

"I'm okay!" He said from under the material. Fuu and Masashi quickly paid the amount of money and grabbed their bags as they sneakily dragged Kaonashi out of the store.

"What the hell were you doing back there?" Masashi asked in fury.

"The bottle said Autumn Peach…LIES! ALL LIES!" Kaonashi said angrily. Fuu blinked.

"That…was a fragrance…see?" Fuu pulled out the bottle from her shopping bag. _Autumn Peach_

"NOOO! FUU-CHAN, YOU TRAITOR!" Kaonashi shrieked. Everyone blinked and decided to forget about it and move on to the next store, which was PacSun.

PacSun was one of Fuu's favorites; it had summery clothes, great accessories, and good sales, too! Fuu immediately grabbed a pearl necklace after she grabbed a black and pink-checkered hoodie.

"Kiki, how come you don't get anything anywhere?" Koko asked her sister. Koko was obsessed with the clothing in this store as well; her hands were full with tank tops, socks, bracelets, and shorts.

"I prefer plain, black dresses. Sorry." Kiki said. Koko groaned.

"You have to wear something different…how about this?" Koko held up an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-pink-and-white-starred tank top.

"Um…no…cute, though."

"C'mon, it'll look great on ya!" Koko pressured her sibling. The arguments continued until everything was purchased and they headed to the next store, Hollister. The music was loud and Kaonashi could barely hear anything.

"This store smells like butt!" Masashi shouted. Fuu ignored him.

"Summer's here, this means I must get summer clothes! This is the perfect place to get some tank tops and shorts!" Fuu exclaimed loudly, trying to overpower the music playing loudly in the background. Kaonashi went to the back of the store and stared at the skimpy bathing suits displayed on the tables.

"Ah, you have a girlfriend, cutie?" Said a blonde, tanned skank from behind him. She was with a group of girls (who all looked fake and tanned and really girly) and they all looked flirtatious with him. Kaonashi blinked. It took a while before he noticed he was touching a top of a bikini. He pulled his hand away as if he touched a flame, accidentally hitting the girl's nose. The girl squealed in fury, but no one heard it because of the loud music playing, and her nose started bleeding.

"Let's go, girls! We need tissues!" The group of girly girls left, and Fuu began to clap.

"KAONASHI, YOU SAVED US FROM TORTURE!" Fuu said happily. Kaonashi looked confused.

"I what?"

"Those girls are all idiots, they were trying to make us look bad…well, Ishi-kun is a lady's man, so he has nothing to worry about…" Fuu replied. Kaonashi looked over at a bunch of tiny, not so girly looking girls flirting with Masashi.

"Um…are you all right with that?" Koko asked after grabbing a T-shirt from a table.

"I'm used to it…when we were at school together, he flirted mostly with me!" Fuu said happily in pride. Kaonashi blinked.

"Are you sure he's not a…er…player?" Kaonashi asked. Shocked, Fuu took a paper fan and smacked Kaonashi.

"WHAT? HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT, KAO-KUN!" Fuu screamed. People in the store started to stare and gossip.

"WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE SAYING, GIRLS? I'M NOT CRAZY!" Fuu said to the gossiping group of girly girls. They said nothing and ran out of the store. Kaonashi rubbed his face.

"I was kidding, Fuu-chan…" He said weakly. Fuu blinked a few times.

"Oh…SORRY!"

After purchasing a few items, the group left Hollister and decided to take a short break while looking in the pet shop after getting some strawberry banana smoothies. Fuu gawked innocently at the puppies playing happily in the front window.

"KAWAII!" She squealed. Kiki and Koko went over to the kitten area.

"Look, Jiji, this one looks a lot like you!" Koko pointed out. The black cat blushed at seeing the innocent, adorable black kitten meow at him in happiness. Jiji shook his head "_I already have a girlfriend! I can't disappoint Lilly!" _He thought to himself.

Kaonashi's favorite store had to be the pet shop. The guinea pigs stared happily at him while the parrot said "Hello" to him…over and over again…the fish bubbled gleefully while the tiny kittens licked his pinky finger when he stuck his fingers into their little cages. The puppies barked happily to see some attention…when he caught something in the corner of his eye…

A Chihuahua

It was a tan; brown color with large black eyes…but it was all by himself in the corner of the large puppy play area. This made Kaonashi feel bad. He reached to his wallet…only 16 bucks, since Fuu tricked him by saying "Look, a vampire!" while she took some of his money…about fifty dollars or such.

Kaonashi could do nothing but gawk in sadness at the lonely little Chihuahua.

"Ah, have your eye on him, eh?" Said the female clerk who randomly appeared out of nowhere. Kaonashi stood there but nodded slightly.

"It's strange though, that little guy never liked attention…until you came in…hey! How about this!" The clerk said. Kaonashi blinked and said nothing as she spoke her next words.

After Fuu was done petting the cats and feeding the large lizard and watching the hamsters run in their little wheels, everyone decided it was time to go…until they heard the register.

"Hey, is that Kaonashi…?" Kiki asked. Indeed it was. Kaonashi held the happy little Chihuahua in his arms as they exited the store. Kaonashi was beaming.

"You got a dog? YOU GOT A DOG?" Masashi said angrily. Kaonashi nodded then flicked Ishi-kun's head.

"Yes, I did, and you should not address my friend that way…his name is Friends." Kaonashi said. Everyone blinked.

"Why Friends?" Fuu asked.

"Based on you guys! You're my friends!" Kaonashi replied. Masashi did nothing but sigh.

"I'm going to the next store…" He groaned. The Chihuahua barked softly. Fuu smiled lightly.

"A very cute doggy…er…hi…um…Friends…" Fuu patted Friend's head and so did Kiki and Koko. After the long ritual of petting the dog's head, they followed Masashi to the next store.

--

After a few more hours, Kaonashi and Masashi carried Fuu and Koko's shopping bags (about thirty bags for each person). Koko carried Friends while Fuu applied some of the Autumn Peach fragrance on her as they got off the elevator on the sixth floor. When they entered the room, both Masashi and Kaonashi fell on the couch in exhaustion.

"Why…do I…do this…every time?" Masashi whimpered. Fuu giggled.

"You're all sweaty…you need a bath…" She whispered so no one can hear. Masashi grinned deviously.

"What's a bath?" Kaonashi asked loudly. This made Kiki and Koko turn their heads in disgust.

"Perverts!" Koko shrieked as she hid in Fuu's room for shelter. Kiki bowed her head while her face was as red as a tomato and took Jiji into Fuu's room as well. Fuu sighed.

"We'll explain later, Kao-kun, how about you set up a little place where…um…Friends can sleep for the night, huh?" She said while taking Ishi-kun's hand into the bathroom. Kaonashi blinked while Friends jumped on the couch and wagged his tail. The water began to run as moans were heard. Kaonashi heard this and fell off the couch…

"Goodnight, Kaonashi!" Kiki and Koko hollered from Fuu's room. Kaonashi didn't respond; he was already paralyzed with fright while Friends went to sleep.

Continued in chapter four! 


	4. Kaonashi & Nightclubs

_Summary for Chapter Four: While Fuu is out with her other friends to a chick flick, it's only Kaonashi and Masashi at the apartment…where Masashi has a trick up his sleeve that just may change Kaonashi's life forever…_

Kaonashi &

**Chapter Four: Kaonashi & Nightclubs**

Masashi and Kaonashi stood there in the kitchen, staring at the giant, teal sticky note on the refrigerator. It stood out from all the other sticky notes, from the color and the bright red pen, which was used to write the contents:

"_To Ishi-Kun and Kao-Kun,_

_Kiki, Koko, Jiji, and me are out with my other pals to see a movie! We didn't bring you guys along because you know how you freak out at chick flicks, huh, Masashi? Jiji came along because he doesn't leave Kiki's side, remember? We'll be back around 10:30. Have fun together, you two!_

_Love, Fuu"_

"Masashi…what does it say?" Kaonashi asked. Masashi shook his head and sighed.

"Dammit, she always leaves when we need her most!" Masashi said through gritted teeth, landing his entire body on the sofa. Kaonashi walked over.

"What's important at the moment?"

"Guitar Hero isn't working! I'm in a CRISIS!" He replied, still sulking on the couch. Kaonashi still didn't know what exactly Masashi meant and he only shrugged his shoulders. Kaonashi slumped on a chair and sunk in its cushion. Friends the Chihuahua lept on the chair and cuddled with the spirit. Before Kaonashi closed his eyes completely, Masashi stood up and completely shifted gears…

"YES! IT'S POSSIBLE!" He said excitedly, grabbing air in his excited-ness.

"What is possible?" Kaonashi wondered. Masashi put his hands in his pockets and smiled.

"I have an older friend who works at this night club, and he gets me inside every single time! Wanna come with me, Kao?" He asked happily. Kaonashi blinked, patting Friend's head.

"When did you get so happy all of a sudden? Because when you're around me, you act all grumpy and crap." Kaonashi said. Masashi rolled his eyes.

"Did Fuu tell you that?"

"Yes."

"Of course she did." Masashi rubbed his temples, then stopped only a few moments later. "What do you say, Kao, are you up for it?" Kaonashi rubbed his chin. He didn't even know what a night club _was_. But, he sighed.

"Take me to this…night club." He spoke up. Masashi jumped up and down, ran to get money, and then dragged Kaonashi outside of the door to go to this so-called nightclub. Friends sneezed before he took Kaonashi's place on the chair cushion and fell asleep peacefully.

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Meanwhile with Fuu and friends…

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"_Your new name shall be Sayuri." _The movie was playing and Fuu and her friends were amused. All of a sudden, Fuu's phone vibrated in her blue jean pocket. She got it out and looked at the text message she received from her boyfriend.

"_Kao and I are going outside to a restaurant! Don't mind us if we're gonna be a bit late! Love, Masashi!"_

Fuu shut her phone off.

"If he goes to that night club again, I'm going to scourge his eyes out." She said, sipping some of her Dr. Pepper.

"Masashi goes to a night club?" Koko whispered over to her. Some of the other audience members shushed them. That didn't stop Koko and Fuu, though.

"He says that he has a good friend of his who manages there, and he allows Masashi to get in that place…which I'm 80% sure is illegal, but, Masashi is too dense to realize that." Fuu whispered back over to Koko.

"Whoa, he does his best to get into mischief, huh?" Koko whispered. "But I'm pretty sure he wouldn't go there tonight, especially with Kao in his hands. He'd probably stay home and play Guitar Hero or something on the Wii, right?" Koko mentioned. Fuu sighed.

"Hmm, you're right. There's no chance in hell that he would bring Kaonashi to a night club…" Fuu took a piece of buttery popcorn and popped it into her mouth as the movie continued to roll.

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Back with Masashi and Kaonashi

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The streets were busy with cars and taxis, and it as Kaonashi's first time in a taxi. He felt a bit claustrophobic, but he managed to survive when Masashi pulled him outside. Masashi paid the taxi driver as he drove away. The two guys turned around to face the entrance to the nightclub, which is called "Clover".

"This is it, Kao! Let's go!" Masashi made a hand gesture and walked right past the long line to the club. He walked up to the security guard.

"Friend of Light's." He said. The rather buff security guard nodded his head and led him in. Kaonashi stood there as the security man stared them down. Masashi came back.

"And guest." He said. The security guard nodded and led Kaonashi in, too. It was first a big maze of darkness…until Kaonashi heard very loud music…and saw flashes and colors everywhere…and people dancing.

"Whoa! Is this place heaven?" Kaonashi asked.

"What?" Masashi asked him, jumping up and down to the music.

"I SAID, IS THIS PLACE HEAVEN?" Kaonashi shouted.

"NO, IT'S 'CLOVER'!" Masashi replied, still jumping up and down. He then ran over to a group of young girls and started dancing with them, and the girls all enjoyed that. Kaonashi shrugged his shoulders and followed him to the group of girls. Masashi looked over at Kaonashi as he continued his dancing.

"I think I can help you win a girl tonight, Kao!" He shouted. Kaonashi looked at him, jumping up and down continuously.

"Win…like we have a contest or something?" Kaonashi asked him. Masashi then stopped bouncing and grabbed Kaonashi's shoulders, smiling wide.

"GREAT IDEA, KAO-KUN! Whoever picks up the most girls is the winner!" Masashi jumped up and down again as she ran over to another group of young girls and began talking to them. Immediately, they all surrounded him, and they began talking to him.

"If Fuu were here, she would probably kill him." Kaonashi sighed.

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Back at the movie theatre

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"_Mamaya, what if I disgrace myself out there? What if something goes wrong and everyone—?"_

"_Sayuri. You will do great out there." _

Fuu, Kiki, Koko, and Jiji continued watching the rather great film. Fuu was about to dive her hand into some more popcorn until her cell phone started to buzz in her pocket again. She took it out and looked at the text she got from…Kaonashi?

"Hi Fuu, its Kaonashi using Masashis sell fone

_We ar at a restront called Clover, its a really heavnly plase. _

_Masashi asked me to text you this messag to tell you that 'Everythings all rite'. _

_We ar having a good time here, and he also said DO NOT pick us up after we ar dun. _

_Keep enjoing the movy. Se you toniht. Bye._

_-Kaonashi"_

"Wow, his spelling is terrible." Fuu said softly. Koko glanced over at the text message and tried to hold in her laughs.

"Agreed." She whispered.

"Clover…why does that place sound so familiar?" Fuu wondered, tapping her index finger on her chin. She then shrugged her shoulders and continued watching the film.

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Back at Clover

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Kaonashi sat at the bar, where more unlucky single guys were than anywhere else. Kaonashi sighed before an attractive bartender girl came up.

"Can I get you a drink, sweetie?" She asked. He looked up and saw her straight black hair, bright blue eyes, and light layer of makeup.

"Uh…orange juice, please." He said. The girl raised an eyebrow then smiled.

"I'll see what I can get for ya." She said, smiling at the spirit. She walked away and Kaonashi looked at the bright lights in the club…until he saw Masashi prancing over with another guy, who looked oddly like him.

"Kao! Kao! I've been looking for ya, mate!" Masashi said happily. The other guy next to him was just as happy and bouncy as Masashi was.

"Masashi, who is this?" Kaonashi asked. Masashi blinked then looked over at the other man.

"Oh, this here is the guy who owns the place! His name is Light Yagami!" Masashi said, pointing at the older looking man. Light waved at Kaonashi. Light looked exactly like Masashi, they both had brown hair, both tall, and they both were rather hyper. Before Kaonashi said anything, the black-haired girl came back and handed Kaonashi the beverage.

"Here ya go! Made nice and fresh!" The woman said. Kaonashi grabbed the drink, sniffing its contents. It looked like orange juice, it smelled like orange juice, it had small little bubbles like orange juice…and as he took a sip, he agreed that it was an official glass of orange juice.

"Hey, Light, I didn't know you started serving kid's drinks here." Masashi said. Light glanced over at Masashi.

"Kid's drinks? What are you talking about?" Light asked his buddy. Masashi looked over at him again.

"Kao is drinking orange juice, isn't he?" Light then blinked and bit his lip, glancing over at the spirit with the beverage.

"Er…eheh…that's a new drink I added to the menu the other day…it's orange juice…mixed with vodka." Light said, trying to hide his nervousness with chuckles. Masashi blinked then gasped.

"OH, SHI—!"

"HEY, WAITRESS, GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE, PLEASE!" Kaonashi said, finishing the drink. The waitress giggled.

"Of course, sweetheart." The girl winked and walked away to get another drink of the "orange juice".

"Well, well, well, aren't you a little young to be in a night club?" A familiar voice came from behind Masashi and Light. He turned around…and saw Himiko Kimuchi.

"HIMIKO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Masashi asked her. She winked.

"She's my girlfriend." Light spoke up. The two then held hands as he kissed her on the cheek. Masashi's eyes widened and his jaw dropped in an instant.

"Just how old are you?" He asked her.

"Eighteen. And you, little boy?" Himiko teased. Masashi sighed.

"Fifteen…WAIT, YOU'RE EIGHTEEN? You're supposed to be 21 and older to be in this night club!" Masashi shouted.

"I can allow her…besides, it's the drinking age in other countries, you know." Light pointed out.

"BUT NOT IN THIS COUNTRY!" Masashi screeched at his friend.

"Then why are _you_ in here again, little boy?" Himiko asked him. Before he answered, Himiko looked over his shoulder and saw something a bit familiar to her.

"Hey, is that Kaonashi at the bar?" She asked Masashi. Masashi gasped and blocked her view with his head.

"Nope! What are you talking about? Why on earth would I bring Kaonashi to a vulgar and unintelligent place like this?" Masashi was sweating bullets. If a shrine maiden like Himiko knew that Masashi let Kaonashi into this place…things would note bode well and will probably lose his privileges to keep Kaonashi…and that was the last thing Fuu wanted, and Fuu would then murder him and his soul.

Himiko looked like she was suspecting something.

"Strange, why do you seem so nervous when I'm around? Maybe he is here then!" Himiko said, trying to get past Masashi.

"No, no, no! I do not have him here!" Masashi said, still blocking her path. Himiko stopped and gasped.

"Look, a topless girl!" Himiko shouted. Masashi turned his head in another direction.

"WHERE?"

"Yeah, where?" Light asked. Himiko rolled her eyes as she made her way past Masashi. Masashi turned around and saw Himiko walking closer to the bar area.

"Oh, no!"

"_Ugh, I can't believe I just belted those disgusting words out into the open! Oh, the many things I have to do to get past someone so dense like Masashi!" _Himiko thought in her head. She put those thoughts behind her when she went up to the familiar figure.

"Hello there, old friend. Did that jerk Masashi bring you into this place?" Himiko put her hand on his shoulder…only it wasn't Kaonashi.

"Why, hello there sexy mama!" A young man turned around, drinking a shot of whiskey. Himiko stared in disgust as she walked away in fury. A few seconds after she walked away, Masashi and Light came up to the bar. The waitress that served Kaonashi was washing some martini glasses.

"Excuse me, Miss?" Masashi came up to her. She glanced over.

"Aren't you a little bit young to be in a night club, little boy?" She asked.

"_Why does everyone keep calling me a little boy?" _He thought to himself.

"Misty, do you know where the guy who drank the orange juice went?" Light then came up.

The waitress named Misty nodded.

"He had so many of those vodka orange juice drinks and then ran off to the dance floor. Believe me, for the seven months I have worked here, I have _never_ seen a man drink that many drinks in that amount of time." Misty stated. Light nodded.

"Masashi, to the dance floor!" Light said. Masashi nodded.

"Right!"

The two guys went into the dance floor, where they had to push through tons of crowds just to find one dancer.

"WOOO! THIS SONG IS SO CATCHY!" The voice echoed throughout the club, and Light and Masashi turned around to see Kaonashi, dancing with nine beautiful girls. The song he was dancing to was called "Disturbia" by Rihanna. The nine girls all danced around him while Kaonashi did some of the weirdest and strangest dance moves. Masashi walked up and dragged him out of the group of dancing young girls. Light helped Masashi drag the spirit to the restrooms, where they set him down on a toilet to rest.

"Kaonashi, how many fingers am I holding up?" Light put up three fingers in front of Kaonashi's face.

"Nine?"

"Yeah, he's drunk." Light turned to Masashi. Masashi shook his head.

"Well of course he's drunk! I kind of figured that out when he was dancing like a maniac out there!" Masashi helped Kaonashi sit up, who constantly tried to fall over.

"Listen, Kao, you have to be sober again before we reach home! If Fuu, Kiki, Koko, or Jiji know that I brought you to this place, I'm screwed!" Masashi desperately said. Kaonashi tried to slump over again, but both men helped him sit up straight.

"But…I was danciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing." Kaonashi slurred. Masashi was about to say something, until he heard the door open…and high-heeled footsteps were heard.

"Where are those two? They're acting suspicious when they said that Kaonashi wasn't here…but I'm not sure if they're telling the honest truth or not." Himiko's voice was heard. Masashi froze and his eyes widened.

"Light…which restroom did you go through?" Masashi whispered, his throat quivering.

"The men's bathroom…I'm pretty sure…" Light swallowed.

"Then why is Himiko in the _men's_ bathroom?" Masashi gritted his teeth.

"Maybe she's the one who's wrong!" Light whispered fiercely back. Not long after, three more high-heels were heard.

"Oh my God, that guy that was dancing to Disturbia out there was really smoking hot!" A girl's voice was heard.

"Yeah! I know! He's unique, and I like my men unique!" Another girl said.

"I wonder where he ran off to, though. I'm already missing his dance moves!" The third girl said. The three of them kept giggling and chatting while Light and Masashi slowly turned their heads to face each other.

"You dumbass, we're not only gonna be busted for letting Kaonashi get drunk, but we're also gonna get busted for 'peeping' in the girl's bathroom!" Masashi hissed quietly at his friend.

"I could've sworn that this was the men's bathroom! There are two bathrooms for each gender in the place, and I usually go to the one on the other side near the security office! I thought we were at the one near the security office!" Light hissed back. Kaonashi groaned loudly and he tried to slump over. They covered his mouth, but none of the girls seemed to hear them. The three girls left the bathroom, but Himiko was still there, fixing her hair and makeup.

"Why can't she leave already?" Masashi gritted. Kaonashi mumbled something into the guy's hands, but they couldn't decode the message.

"Dude, she's never gonna get out of here so quickly. She spends like ten minutes in the bathroom, so it'll probably be 10:10 when gets out." Light stated. Masashi froze and glanced over at his friend.

"Light, what time is it?" He asked frantically.

"10:00…now it's 10:01." Light said looking at his silver watch. Masashi was panicking.

"Oh my God, Fuu and everyone else are gonna be home at 10:30!"

----+----+----+----+--------+----+----+----+----

Back with Fuu and friends

----+----+----+----+--------+----+----+----+----

"Geisha's are only half a wife…"

The film ended and Fuu stood up in the seat, tears streaming down her eyes.

"That ending made me tear up so much! Jesus, you blessed this film!" Fuu shouted happily clapping. Kiki made a gesture for her to calm down as everyone in the theatre stood up to leave. Fuu took out her phone and looked at the time on it.

"It's 10:04, everyone. The drive isn't that long back to the apartment, its only twenty minutes away, so we'll be just fine!" Fuu said.

"Yeah, and I bet that Masashi and Kaonashi are back from that restaurant." Koko stated.

"Mm-hm, you're right. Masashi is responsible, and they were at the restaurant at 8:30, so they're sure to be at the apartment right now." Fuu said with an encouraging grin on her face…

----+----+----+----+--------+----+----+----+----

Back at Clover

----+----+----+----+--------+----+----+----+----

"She's not leaving…its 10:07!" Masashi gritted his teeth in anger and panic. The door opened up and they saw black boots head over to where Himiko was.

"Hey, there's a spirit thing in here dancing around! You have to go see!" A familiar voice was heard. Himiko growled.

"I KNEW IT!!!!" Himiko screeched, going past the other girl and outside of the restroom. The other girl came up and opened the stall door, seeing the three men.

"Comfy in there?" Misty asked them.

"Not really, thanks Misty! You saved our butts!" Light got up from the stall and helped Masashi carry Kaonashi out of it, too.

"We have to go, Kaonashi! It's an emergency!" Masashi screeched. "We have to get a cab as fast as possible!" Masashi was dragging Kaonashi to the door until Misty stopped them.

"You live in that big apartment a few blocks from here, don't you?" Misty asked them. Masashi nodded his head. "I thought so. I know a shortcut, because this is the time where cabs are hard to get. If you cross the street and go past about fifteen or twenty backyards of houses, you'll get to the apartment a lot quicker." Misty said.

"You're really helpful…how long have you worked here again?" Masashi asked her. Kaonashi then groaned loudly as Light looked at his watch.

"It's 10:13 right now! You two have to hurry! Go out my office door so Himiko won't spot you going out the front door!" Light said. Masashi nodded.

"Thanks you two, I'll see you soon!" Masashi dragged Kaonashi out the restroom.

----+----+----+----+--------+----+----+----+----

Outside of the Movies

----+----+----+----+--------+----+----+----+----

"Geez, why are all these cabs taken?" Kiki asked.

"Well, it's usually busy around 10 to 10:30, so I've heard." Fuu stated, waving her hand to get a cab, but they all passed them, occupied.

"We're never gonna get a cab!" Koko whined. "It's only 10:16, too!"

"Aha, here's one!" Fuu got an empty taxi and they all hopped in and it drove away to the apartment.

----+----+----+----+--------+----+----+----+----

In the streets

----+----+----+----+--------+----+----+----+----

Masashi carried Kaonashi on his back as he ran through the many backyards. He ran past a guy finishing up his garden and a guy cleaning up his grill, where he took his soda can and finished the drink before hiding the can in another neighbor's plant.

The girls' taxicab was nearing the apartment, and Masashi was running a little ahead of it, unaware that his girlfriend and her friends were in the car he was in front of. Fuu was in the passenger seat and glanced over to see the running figure, unfamiliar of which it really was, even with the spirit on his back, and glanced back at the front window. Masashi glanced at the car behind him and gasped to see Fuu, and he ran behind it to the other side of the sidewalk. Fuu glanced over at where she saw the runner before, but he had vanished.

Masashi ran through more backyards and even ran through one house. He went into the house's living room, where a guy watching TV was rather surprised to see Masashi carrying the spirit on his back. He also went through the kitchen, where a mother was baking a late night snack.

"Smells delicious!" Masashi exclaimed. He then went outside where a bunch of middle school kids were, getting ready for the snack. "Snack's ready!" Masashi ran past them. They all seemed confused at Masashi.

It was 10:24

Masashi then saw the apartment coming closer to his view, and he only had one more backyard to go through. He climbed up a playground slide, jumped off of the playground, landed on a trampoline, and jumped over the fence, still holding onto Kaonashi on his back. The jump to the ground almost seemed like slow motion as he saw the apartment just across the street. He landed on the ground and ran across the street and through the doors of the apartment.

10:26

The cab went in front of the apartment.

"Wow, I still can't stop talking about that great movie we just saw!" Kiki exclaimed. "Even Jiji teared up at the ending."

"I'm not listening." Jiji groaned.

…

Masashi was tapping his foot at the elevator going up to floor six. When it landed on floor six, he ran to his room, crossing his fingers that the girls didn't arrive in the apartment yet. He ran to his room, got out his room key, and entered the room, where it was untouched when he last left. He closed the door and locked it as he set Kaonashi down on the couch, where he was groaning. Masashi turned on the TV and put it on a random channel. He then bent down to Kaonashi.

"You all right, Kao?"

"Yeeeeeeeees…Nooooooooooooooo…I dunnooooooooooo…" Kaonashi replied. His breath stank of vodka. Masashi frantically searched around as he heard footsteps coming near his room. He then grabbed Tic Tacs from a drawer in the room, put six in Kaonashi's mouth, where he chewed them and swallowed them. Masashi then lept onto the empty space on the sofa, flipped it to a movie channel, and the door opened where Fuu came inside with company.

"Hey baby!" Fuu smiled. Masashi glanced over.

"Hi. There you are, you're late. You said 10:30, but its 10:32." Masashi grinned. Fuu smiled back.

"C'mon, its only two minutes later." Fuu walked over and pecked Masashi on the lips. She then glanced over at Kaonashi.

"Is he asleep?" Kiki asked. Masashi glanced over and saw that Kaonashi passed out right when the girls and cat entered in the room.

"Uh, yeah. We ate so much stuff at that new restaurant downtown that he got so tired and fell asleep when we got home. All I've been doing is watching some TV." Masashi said.

"Kaonashi said that the restaurant was called Clover…isn't that the name of a night club?" Koko asked. Masashi froze.

"Uh, no, he thought it was called Clover because we went past it, and he was amused by how loud the music was just from the outside, but we went to the restaurant not far down from it." Masashi said. Fuu smiled.

"I knew we could rely on you while we hade girl's night out!" She smiled. "Now, I'm awfully sleepy. We're gonna go to bed, okay Ishi-kun?" Masashi nodded.

"Okay, good night." Masashi smiled as the girls and Jiji went into Fuu's room. As soon as the door closed, Masashi exhaled.

"Never again will I do that."

To be continued!

_Some things in this story!_

_The movie that Fuu and friends saw- if any of you recognized it, the movie the girls and Jiji saw was Memoirs of a Geisha. I couldn't think of any other movie, and it was the first chick flick that came to my mind. It's also one of my favorite movies! I do not own Memoirs of a Geisha…_

_Light Yagami- Yes, Death Note fans, Light is the owner of a nightclub! Well, it isn't the same Light from Death Note, I just used the same name and appearance with a different personality…but I do NOT own him…_

_Running Through Backyard Scene/ running near car scene- if you're a fan of the movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", you'll easily recognize these scenes. If you haven't seen this movie, go out and rent it and watch it and this will make these scenes a lot funnier (It's hard to type it down!)_

I had so much fun typing this chapter! It's the longest chapter by far, and I enjoy it! Thanks for waiting for me to update after such a long period of time! I'll try to update more ASAP! SEE YAS!

_**-da Panda**_


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